(Translator’s note – the article reveals the topic of negative reviews in the field of Internet business, but as you perfectly understand, the advice given in it can be extended to any sphere of life).
When you start your own business, you fall into the realm of public perception. And that means that everything you say and do will now be appreciated by everyone who listens to you or buys goods from you.
The day you launch a blog or something, every word you say will be available to the world. Everyone will look at you closely and study you.
During my almost four-year career as a blogger, I’ve had several, so to speak, “incidents”. But since I can count the number of such cases on my fingers, I can say that I am doing quite well so far.
However, we all know that it is the negative feedback that causes the most pain, even if there are very few. Every time I was attacked by a blog visitor, I felt a strong emotional reaction.
Attention from the outside is a good thing.
Every person who has become more or less successful (even at his or her small level, in his or her environment) will face those who will belittle his or her achievements. The nature of our world is such that we have different opinions. You will never be able to satisfy everyone and everything. The more famous you become, the more people will form their opinion about you: it can be both good and bad.
But if no one is paying attention to you, then you should really think about the fact that maybe there is something wrong with your marketing.
First you start…
I remember the first time there was a major conflict with me at the center. That’s when I knew what it meant to have a hater. Naturally, I reacted intensely and emotionally, and in the heat of the moment I tried to protect myself. Now, that was a mistake.
Whatever I wrote, my opponent used my words as fuel for his hatred. Any word I said was only meant to reinforce the X point of view.
I learned a good lesson from this case. I’ve learned two important things:
1) If you have an “opponent-hate”, remember that these people look at everything through special glasses. No matter what you say to them in return, they will not accept your words. Instead, they use those words to fuel the flames of war. These people like your attention, and they will do everything possible to hold it and show you again how wrong you are (in their opinion).
2) Text as a means of communication is a very weak tool. Words can be interpreted (understood) in so many different ways that you can lose a lot of time trying to defend yourself online.
The Internet keeps a certain level of anonymity of a person, which means that a person can use words to attack you in a way that he or she would never do to your face. There are simply no prohibitions. They feel perfectly safe typing anything you want in return. Because they’re at home, thousands of miles away from you.
How best to use the Public Attack?
As a result of my communication with the “haters”, I have come to two conclusions:
- If there is no basis for the words of the person attacking you verbally; if he says them just to say them, just ignore him. These people are just trying to get your attention. So, any form of your answer is exactly what they want. The best approach in this case is to forget about these words and move on.
- If a person hurt you for a “pain point” – for example, posted a negative opinion about you on a blog visited, etc., and if the words of this person is the essence, then you must give your answer and protect yourself.
Option number 1 – simple. Option number 2 is full of dangerous pitfalls, but only in the event that you give your emotions.
The key to the correct response is to respond as an “adult” without switching to a person. Often, there are many situations when it is your personality that is attacked, if in this case you can avoid the same behavior, you will look much better.
The adult approach is a powerful thing. If you respect other people, even if they “water you with dirt”, then you always come out victorious, regardless of the situation.
Whoever says negative things about you, you must use this situation as a great opportunity to demonstrate your character traits: strength and maturity. A man able to stand up to a fierce attack of words, keeping calm and applying logic and naked facts without emotions – always comes out victorious.
You must understand that most people follow the ongoing interaction between you and your opponent (although they do not participate in it). These people form their own opinions based on how you react. By appearing on stage as a “hard as a stone” and mature person, without switching to a person – you win the battle in the eyes of the silent majority. You may not see it, because the silent majority is silent, but they will respect you.
Add to this situation the increasing effect of attention, which accompanies any fight and contradiction, and you will realize that you must be grateful to the person who “attacked” you. Of course, all this is fair in case you didn’t get emotionally involved in an argument and didn’t start throwing swearwords.
It’s as clean as dirt.
It is important to note that all opinions are very subjective. What you think is right or wrong may not coincide with the opinion of other people. Your task is to remain true to yourself. Whether your opponent agrees with you or not – it doesn’t matter, the way you communicate your point of view is important. How you communicate your point of view is more important than what you communicate to the public.
It will be useful for you to stop judging anyone, especially based on the content of a web page. This is where most “haters” make the mistake. They read words and judge a person based entirely on what they’ve read. In addition, they emotionally cling to their opinion and start attacking.
Let your friends protect you.
Another important point, which is ridiculously strong in terms of business. The more famous you become, the more people you’ve helped, the more your group of “fans”.
Friendly buyers and customers, those who have benefited most from interacting with you – are your wars, and will fight on your side.
Nothing is more marvelous than when someone attacks you, and an army of your admirers becomes on the defense. By the way, your defenders can use more emotional arguments, because they are the third party to the conflict.
From the observer’s point of view, the very fact that you have so many defenders, is already an indicator of great trust to you.